Wolfclaw I'd also met on that ever-so-special race across the continent... Not the brightest thing on four legs, but he can be useful sometimes...|
Ummmm, do you have anything in blue? Or black maybe? Don't like green that much, but if you have anything in that, I would be happy also. Grey is also a very good one. Maybe you can but in a special order, and give me a mix of everything.
Fledgling plot elements store seeks bright, talented individual for full or part-time position. Duties include: harassing the customers, inventory, slaying the occasional rebel pilot/princess, sweeping up and occasional locking up after a hard day of abuse. Must be willing and able to butcher plotlines and use a pun with deadly accuracy. For interview, submit resume to R'thoria Deadwood via this forum.
First two applicants get a free squishee/hired.
Back to your regularly scheduled pogrom... (the ethnic group I'm after is role-playing computer geeks...)
Blue, black or green... Let's see...
Well, for black and blue, nothing can beat "Cruising for a Bruising!" This film, from the golden era of filmmaking (1983), is bound to have you on your feet and laughing hysterically, since the theater just installed new nitrous oxide emitters! But seriously, this little gemstone in about a mismatched pair of old geezers who decide to go for a cruise and end up beating the snot out of each other over some pretty chick! What a great time!
For green, we have something titiled "DiAnne of Green Gables." It's about the tragic last night of the famed English glitterati Lady DiAnne of Green Gables, right up to the tragic moment when the speeding helicopter crashed into the ocean. Also includes a four-hour documentary on the making of the 45-minute movie.
Hmm... If you wanted to go all out, there's always "The Rainbow Perfection." Based loosely on the characters in "To Wung Fi, Tanks for Ever'thin', Julia Newmark," this story tells the young transvestites' journey home, and the journey of self-discovery they each go through. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll shout out "Fabulous!"
Yes, folks, you, too, could be a part of this loving, one-person family!
Remember, for Avedion, Acenture, and the finest selection of family-safe fireworks this side of the Rio Grande, come to R'thoria's Used Wookie Emporium!
Ahh, I'm not to sure, what to get? They all sound amazingly well used. Whats do you have in the used wookie emporium? Maybe something there can well please me.
Wookies, wookies, let's see. *Retrieves flashlight from the hook, dusts it off and opens a large bank-vault-like door before heading into the dusty darkness*
OH, MY GOODNESS! IT'S... IT'S... oh, wait, no... you wouldn't want this one. It's an ABC wookie. That's Already Been Chewie. You didn't know that they used different wookies for each movie? Apparently the first wanted too much money. Then the second did, too. Notice, no wookies in the two latest movies. Coincidence? No! Wookies are the greediest type of actor known to man and the Five Sentient Spacefaring Species (FSSS, pronounced kinda like air leaking out of a tire). They're even greedier than Leonardo DiCraprio! But I digress.
What else do we have in the wookie vault today? Wookies come in all shapes and sizes, you know. Colors, too. We've got ones that would more than satisfy your blue, black and green preference. Not to mention the enormous volume of Wookie merchandise. Wookie Figurines, Wookie Bathtub Soap, Wookie Wigs, Gramma Wookie's Famous Wookie Cookies, Wookie Shampoo, which for some reason comes only in "Super-Jumbo Size."
(As a side note... do you remember cousin It from the Addams Family? Yep, another famous Wookie actor, in a wig. Imagine that)
Come on back, is there any type of wookie in particular that you're looking for? I could let you walk home with one of these today (they're scared of automobiles), but a custom order takes a little longer. We also offer custom fitting and retailoring, to suit your plot element needs. Think the ferocious dragon part would be better played by a wookie? Not a problem for the professional at RUWE!
(Hint, hint, RUWE/RUPE is still looking for someone to help out... Great benefits, pay is over 90nuyen/hr... bonuses for people who come up with a new way to respell the action/ADVENTure gag...)
*winds up for the customary big finish*
That's right, folks! Adion! Acvenure! Wookies by the ton! Lawsuits aplenty after LucasArts finds this site! Free wookie-nookie demonstrations after midnight! You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wonder what the heck I've been smoking! Come on down to R'thoria's Used Plot Elements/R'thoria's Used Wookie Emporium!